Learn to Lie…!!!

24Sep09

Do you feel that there’s a need for you to lie, and you’re not capable of doing it..??
And even if you give a try, your untruthful statement always fails to deceive others perceptions?
well then, I simply think u either suffer from Parkinson’s disease, or you’re just too dumb to find a reason to exist on planet earth, or may be you’re still a child(Children learn to lie convincingly only after the age of four and a half years. Before this, they assume there is only one point of view, which is their own and they simply don’t understand why others don’t see their view). 🙂

Now you wanna lie, but the opposite person is an adept psychologist(say your wife). Remember, Key to lying is not in the tecnique but in the face of the one who is lying. So, how do we do it..
Well, here are some tips…
1. Believe in your lie.
People can only catch you if there’s a asynchronization in your facial expression and body movements. So, trust in the lie, to have a grip on your emotions.
2. Do not hesitate to make eye contact. The failure of which is only gonna be a disaster. Good if you’re hooked on a telephone.
3. Do not speak quickly or have excessive fluctuations in your pitch of voice. You’ll only get caught if you can’t stabilize yourself.
4. Do not hesitate when questioned in detail. Cook up some story before hand. But if something pops up adhoc, you gotta act wiser.
5. Be a psychopath for that moment. There is an intrinsic link between emotional connection and effective lying. I know, you are scared to lie to those whom you know well and care for. But, a psychopath liar doesn’t feels bad or guilty of what he does.
6. Mention a few specifics like the name of a place, time or bring in a new character in your concoction. People trust in specific details.
7. Do not let the lie be sequential or choronological in order. You can someup things in the end. If the lie is too much sequential, it only gives an impression that you’ve come prepared to lie.
8. Stop unnecessary finger pointing and nervous foot tapping and do not hesitate to shake your wet hands firmly.
9. Addin a few humans to support your claim.
Having someone tell you that you’ve seem osama bin laden on the street would only make you laugh but having a second person to tell you the same will make you curious. When the third person speaks of the same, you start doubting your mind, and before the fourth person starts off with his statement, Osama is already walking down the street, in your mind.

Some interesting facts about lying:
Back in 1995, a security gaurd of then French President, raised a hoax in a NATO meeting, that the Russian journalist sitting in the front row had an inbuilt gun in his camera by indicating to the microphone which was supposed to be the silencer. The convinced macho President went up to the russian with his gaurds and punched the guy right on his nose. The camera was destroyed in a view to discover the gun, which only went vain. Later, everyone laughed at the President and the Security gaurd’s ignorance. Only after a few years, the Guard disclosed the truth of creating such an hoax for the only reason of boredom at the meeting.

In another such case, some one from ‘NewYork Liberty’ Women’s basket ball team sent up a fake notice saying Vanessa Hayden of Los Angeles Sparks is actually a man and shouldn’t be let to play in their next clash. And much to the embarassment, Vanessa was asked to go through a diagnosis test before the match took place, to confirm her identity as a female. A case was filed against NewYork liberty, but they were let through without any fine impositions, coz no one from their team knew of the culprit or any such statement..


If you think these two cases are not suffice to prove the dumbness of human beings to differentiate truth from lies, there’s another one to add. Another interesting case happened in hyderabad recently after the death of YSR(our ex-Chief minister of state). After a week of his death, everyone was telling each other that a curfew has been imposed in the city where no one was allowed to go out after 5pm, becoz of a clash in Central and State ministry leaders. Narayanaguda, a heavily populated colony in city, was the only colony which felt so deserted that day, coz the rumour did not spread through beyond that place. Later a message was broadcasted on a local tv chanel saying that there was no such thing and the curfew was just an hoax.

Now comes the most important part of this blog. All the news about the French President, Vanessa Hayden of LA SParks, and the curfew in narayanaguda, is fake. :-P… Yes, they’re all fake which have been concocted by me, only to disclose another art of lying. We all like to deceive and at the same time we all love to believe. 🙂

thanks for the patience guys.

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One Response to “Learn to Lie…!!!”

  1. Lol.. Zubair.. this is some nice gyaan!


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